The Christmas Feeling

by Lydia Makepeace

I miss the "Christmas feeling." I used to get it when I was a child. It was a tingly, can’t wait, anticipation. It seemed like magical things could happen.

Fast forward, and I’m an adult with worries, concerns, and memories of Christmas family fiascos. Add to that years of experience working retail where Christmas music played on a continuous loop starting in November and irate customers made impossible demands at the eleventh hour. And don’t even get me started on holiday traffic and grocery shopping. Christmas has become a season of angst and a frustrating disruption of my daily routine. 

I also now reside in Florida but grew up in the Midwest, so the holiday season at least held the hope of a cozy white Christmas. Christmas used to mean mittens, hot chocolate, and circling my wish list in toy catalogues. 

I’ve been feeling guilty and ungrateful. At least I don’t have to survive sub zero temperatures and driving through snow anymore. And I have a husband who gifts me with his unconditional love and support everyday. This hasn’t stopped me from feeling a little low lately though. Christmas hasn’t felt special or exciting in a long time.

My husband Ryan, sensing my slump, decided to take me out to get a Christmas tree, knowing that keeping at least one tradition would help lift my spirits. I resisted a bit feeling like it was silly to spend money on something so seemingly trivial.

Ryan knows me all to well. We went to Whole Foods and bought a cute table top tree. My spirits lifted as we decorated it and then sat back to enjoy the lights. That little Christmas tree and Ryan’s loving gesture brought me some holiday magic.

I wish you all a little holiday magic!

My cat Benji is getting ready to topple the tree...